So here it is, 2 a.m. on Wednesday morning...
I'm sitting here trying to decide if I should go to bed for a couple hours then get up early and continue work on my paper that's due on Thursday or if I should just stay up and pull through until I get more done. I'm about half way done which is more progress than what I usually have two days before a 20 page paper is due, so maybe I'll take a quick nap. As I sit here thinking about how horrible and stressful my life is right now I am perusing Facebook and I come across this...
And something incredible hits me like a ton of bricks. I am sitting here stressed out because I have a paper due and there are people a few states over mourning the loss of their kids, friends, and family. How selfish do I seem now?
The Virginia Tech folks have definitely been on the forefront of my mind these last couple days and I stop and say a prayer for those involved everytime they enter my mind. And unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately), the world continues to turn and we must continue as best as possible.
I know that we would all feel better if we could place the blame on someone for this horrible thing that has happened...but the truth is, I'm not sure any one person could have prevented this. We can blame the gunman (obviously!) but he's not alive and there is noone to take the wrap. We could blame his parents..maybe they didn't love him like they should have or spent more time with him...we don't know so it's probably not too fair to blame them. How about the President of the University...yes let's blame him for not being prepared for a major massacre on his campus! There is just no way anyone could have been prepared for this.
So let's place blame where it rightfully goes...satan. Evil exists all around us, and sometimes it cannot be explained other than satan has gotten such a tight hold of someone and evil exists. The gunman had a choice, he couldn've followed a better path, made better choices, but he allowed satan to take hold of him. So the blame sets with him alone...ultimately he made the choice...a horrible, tragic choice. We cannot fathom anyone performing an act like this and all we can do is trust God, that He will make good of whatever evil situation satan creates. satan would love it if everyone started fighting over who to blame because it would mean that we are not coming together as a family of God and not placing the blame on him which is exactly what he wants.
As far as I know, I am in no way connected to any of the people involved in yesterday's incident. But that doesn't mean I can't do anything because I can pray. And while I sit here wondering how I'm going to finish the semester I am going to be reminded that there are 33 individuals who won't be finishing the semester. And that is very humbling. Have you ever thanked the Lord for your daily stresses? Because I guarantee those families are wishing they were still worrying about an upcoming test rather than what they have now been forced to worry about. We should thank God for everyday He gives us. Please don't take my words the wrong way, I in no way saying "thank God that didn't happen to me." I am saying my heart is heavy for all involved and I have been humbled and reminded of what's important, praying for strength and courage for all those involved, and making sure God is my number one priority.
I know there is nothing that anyone can say to make anyone who just lost a loved one feel better because the vast majority of us have no idea what it's like to go through something like this, and if someone who is personally affected by this tragedy happens to read this, please know that your Christian sister April and millions of other people in God's family are praying for healing in your lives. I can tell I'm rambling (if you know me you know that's what I do) so I will close...and that's a little perspective at 2:40 in the morning.
