I had a humbling experience today. I got on the bus at the same time as a homeless man today. It was very obvious he's been without a roof for awhile. He was carrying about 8 plastic grocery bags filled mostly with recyclable materials (plastic, paper, etc.) In one bag he had a very dirty blanket which I can only assume is his bed. Situations like this both break my heart and make me incredibly uncomfortable. I definitely border on the side of paranoia of being assaulted or stolen because I know I haven't the means to really fight back. I only say this because I think this selfish fear of mine keeps me from helping others sometimes. Like today, as I was sitting on the bus across from this man, it occured to me that I had an unopened bottle of water and the first thing I thought was that I should offer it to this man. I can imagine he would appreciate a gesture such as this. I kept trying to get the nerve to speak (worried that something negative could happen from initiating any contact), and before I knew it, he was getting off the bus and I'd missed a perfectly good opportunity to help someone with a gesture as simple as offering a bottle of water to someone who really could have used it.
This really made me think. Why do we let ourselves get in the way of helping others? Sure, I have good reason to worry for my safety being alone in a city, but shouldn't I trust that if I aim to do God's will He will take care of me?? I feel like I have the heart of the servant, I'm just not sure I have the courage. Am I alone in these thoughts? It is my prayer that next time, I will have the courage to help when I see the opportunity.
3 years ago
3 comments:
April - I'm loving reading your blog...catching up on what has transpired in your post-CHS life. Just wanted to say that I've learned that most of the time when I get those thoughts like you did to do a kindness for someone, it likely is a prompting of the Holy Spirit. I'm in no way saying that you need to put yourself in danger, but to offer a bottle of water in the name of Jesus is a blessing to you both and it honors God. You're right...God will take care of you. Act for Him and trust Him. This is how you start...by seeing an opportunity, evaluating and praying about it. As you grow in your spiritual walk, that process will speed up and you will find yourself catching more opportunities than you miss. Sounds like Arizona is a good spot for you! --Beth Mainord
amen to beth's comment. i think serving others, especially in a public place like the bus, will be safe. and good. i'm like you though - i don't have enough courage sometimes to do the right thing. also, i think i'm just selfish and stay in my own little world. something i'm trying to work on...
I can't tell you how many times I really wanted to say or do a good thing, but I was too afraid or shy to go through with it. I think we all struggle with these things. Thanks for having the courage to share it with us.
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